How can I bring the spark back to my eight year marriage, when my husband refuses to talk about our problems.?

I have been with my husband for 8 years, married almost 6 of those eight. My husband takes me for granted a LOT. Pushes me away when I try to give him affection, and only touches me when its for our few and far between . I am very very very depressed sad and unhappy, but I love him and he is a good father to our kids, I truly want to fix this. I just don't know how... I need a real fix, not a band aid, I am sick of things being better for a few months, then back to the same thing... I just don't know what to do to rekindle our love. He refuses counseling, so that is out...